Remy Renzullo x Carolina Irving & Daughters | Moda Operandi

Explore the rollercoaster of emotions post-Vogue feature—a journey from fear to transformative calm. Uncover insights into embracing fear, celebrating achievements, and finding inner peace. A must-read for dreamers and creatives navigating their paths. This wedding photographer’s very first Vogue feature!!

It was a cold and rainy January evening in NYC. Located one block from the MET, Manhattan’s finest nestled themselves among the curated frames of an intimate room within Adam Williams’ Fine Art Gallery. With 26 guests only, it was a cozy and small affair. All who gathered came in celebration of the launch of Remy Renzullo, Carolina Irving & Daughters’ (Olympia Irving, and Ariadne Irving) collaborative dinnerware collection sold exclusively on Moda Operandi.

When I got the email inquiring about my covering this launch event, in parenthesis was that magic little phrase, “Vogue confirmed coverage”. And just like that, any calm, cool, and collectedness flew right out the window. A girl only dreams of being associated with Vogue! Its name (as I’m sure you know) carries a powerful reputation, one that when associated with it can have several implications: credibility, prestige, recognition, exposure, validation of talent, more opportunity, and ultimately the biggest stepping stone for career advancement. None of these implications were lost on me. While I may have dreamed of this happening for me “one day”, “one day” was officially here and I didn’t feel the way I imagined it would.

As a wedding photographer who romanticizes absolutely everything. One would have thought that this moment would induce powerful notions of self-love and romantic visions of the future. Instead, I had never in my life felt so utterly terrified while simultaneously deserving, and confidently ready. The emotional complexities of achieving a dream in a creative profession initially felt as though they were robbing me of my moment. But acknowledging the validity of each emotion didn’t diminish the significance of the achievement, rather it had the opposite effect. Something I was only able to do with the help of my mentor and critically acclaimed wedding photographer Twah Dougherty.

I was feeling fear of the pressure to meet expectations, fear of the unknown that comes with newfound recognition, and fear of the anticipation of how this feature might impact my future. By acknowledging these emotions I was able to remind myself that fear is a natural response to stepping into uncharted territory and ultimately a sign of growth. Any time one pushes a boundary there is bound to be some discomfort. In recognizing this (all thanks to Twah) I was able to transform my fear into motivation and used it to propel myself to evolve my career.

I think it’s so easy for us to look at all someone has achieved and to feel that they should be overwhelmingly happy, confident, and grateful. But it’s safe to say that humans and the truth are a bit more complex than that. While I wish I wouldn’t have been so in my head the morning of the event, I know wholeheartedly it’s what I needed to get myself into gear. Best of all, when it was all said and done, a wave of calm and heightened confidence washed over me. Despite the external validation, I now have an inner sense of peace and assurance, as if aligning with my truest self. I can honestly say I feel like my internal landscape has been transformed. Any self-doubt or uncertainty shifted to strong conviction in my skill and the uniqueness of my eye and creative expression.

For those dreaming of your “one day,” your Vogue feature, or another deep desire, it’s important to recognize that the journey is inherently human. That it’s okay not to feel entirely prepared. That fear and anticipation are a part of the process. My woo-woo heart firmly believes that these dreams will manifest when you are truly ready. So even when you are filled with fear, it’s crucial to believe in yourself. So, when your moment arrives, embrace it fully, knowing that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions and that you are absolutely ready for all that is coming ahead.